Love for love's sake

My question for today: Is it pointless to love someone who doesn't share your feelings? I am deeply in love so much so that I can't fall for anyone else because of how deep my love runs for this guy. I hope and pray he will be my husband one day but if not can I stomach him being with someone else or even being alone? I don't know and that saddens me. I hope that one day I will be okay with or without him being in my life until then I am loving the feelings he invokes in me. For now I am just in love for love's sake. That's all I have for today got a final exam to study for so TT4N.

I have the BESTEST friend EVER!

So I got into a car accident about 3 1/2 weeks ago and my car was totaled out. Therefore I have been car-less and needing help. My insurance company got me a rental for about 2 1/2 weeks but I had to return it last Monday. Well I haven't been working but I have been going to school so I have that burden everyday plus I have doc appts. Well my best friend has been so kind to take me to school everyday take me to all my appts and even any random things I need to do without complaining or asking for a single penny. He is the best friend anyone could ever ask for but so few are lucky to find. He has blessed my life tremendously for the past 5 years I hope to always have him as a friend and maybe one day as a husband. Well let me get to what led me to post this...Last night I was coming back from a fun day at the water park with my kids cousin and a friend when the rental car I was driving broke down on me in the middle of the road with no warning. The only way I even knew it broke down was because of the steering wheel locking up and the lights that all of a sudden flashed on the dashboard. Needless to say I was frustrated and feeling helpless. I called the tow company told I would have to wait about an hour and they wouldn't be able to take everyone just me and 1 other person...BIG PROBLEM even if my cousin and friend found a ride that left me with one child that had no ride :( so i texted my best friend who came as soon as he found out the location of where we were sat with us until tow truck came and then met me where the rental company was to bring me home. (Total time lost because of the car = 2hours.) And do you know the best part of this whole thing that makes me appreciate my best friend all the more he never complained he was just helpful and loving. I thank God for sending him into my life and I hope that everyone has a best friend like this in their life and if they don't I hope they find them soon. TT4N!

Car-less, Job-less, but I want it all

It's been a while been busy with school, and personal life. I have had some free time but this was the farthest thing from my mind. Why??? Mostly because I have been stressing over life situations and depressed thinking things aren't going to change but they will. And do you know why? Because my God said it will in His word He says He will never never me nor forsake me. So even though this road is hard and I find myself losing faith and hope I can't I WON'T give up because I know that in the end all things will work together for the good of those who love Christ and I do love him. I lost faith once before and you know what happened, God showed up and he showed out. He didn't have to, but surely He did because He is a merciful God; so I came here today to say no matter the road you are on don't lose the faith, keep strong it will all work out in the end, trust and believe. Right now I am mother-less, car-less, and job-less but I won't lose the faith because He didn't bring me so far just to leave me. I still have a home and money and I even have a car paid off that I wouldn't have if not for the grace and mercy of God. Be blessed TT4N!

Another Day Another Dollar (being lost)

Howdy all! Happy Tuesday! Today is just another day to me and another dollar that is being lost. I hope all is well with all of you out there. I got my hair colored and I hate it! Its not the color I was aiming for at all. My friend said he will pay for me to get it colored over again but as you probably know I can't get that done for some time so that my hair doesn't get over processed so soon. I have yet another doc appt today but thankfully I am feeling somewhat better. I also have been making posts on a surrogate website maybe someone will choose me to be their surrogate mommy I would love to help someone else. Well I gotta go got a stat test tomorrow and I am still so confused about everything TT4N!

more posts needed

i was just thinking that maybe i need to post more often. so far from april until now i only have 5 posts. that's horrible about 1 or 2 posts per month. i didnt realize how much of my time would be taken up by school, my children, trying to spend time with my friends, going to church, cleaning house (you know clothes, bathroom, sweeping, changing sheets, dishes, etc), and reading new books (which is something i am always doing). i decided to try to find time either at the end of my day, beginning of my day or both to try to post a few words about how i am feeling how my day went i realized it helps me to feel a lot better. well today i am changing my hair up so i will be gone for the first half of my day, taking a book with me, this is book #3 out of 20 of the summer hopefully all of the books will be a pleasurable read n i will like my new hair. well i gotta finish getting ready will tell about my day today later, TT4N

Trying to spread some joy :)

so just because I'm not having this best of times i don't want other ppl 2 feel the same way. therefore i have been trying to spread some joy to friends, family, and even strangers one smile at a time. i think that there are ppl that are trying to do the same for me and i appreciate it. i don't feel much like a ppl-person but i still find the desire to try 2 make some1 else smile. i sure hope that God forgives me for all the bad things i say/do/think, n that He sees the good things i do. i know no1 is perfect but i feel like I've fallen so far from where i was before i got raped. that's right raped. i was on this celibacy thing and then after getting raped i decided who cares about saving myself for my husband, i probably wont get married anyway so I'm just living life now. i want to stop having sex but i feel that's all I'm worth, all that I'm good for. i dunno how to feel or what to think. i sometimes wonder why God allows me to live thru all of the things i have done, things i have been thru, when there r ppl out there that want 2 b here more, deserve 2 b here more. maybe He has a plan n purpose 4 my life and 1 day i will find out (i can only hope)

Since I've been gone...

So I have been gone for a while, and actually a lot has happened. I had a scare that I was preggo. I thought I was going to fail a class (my 1st ever) but thankfully I still passed. I got into 2 car accidents in one day. One of them was really minor but the 2nd was so bad that my car flipped over my back neck and head have been hurting so bad that all I can do is lay in bed. Whenever I do try to do something to get out of the house I get excruciating sharp pains in my back and can't stop fidgeting trying to get comfortable. Thankfully after my visit to the chiropractor yesterday I feel a whole lot better and can walk upright for the first time in a week. I can also walk faster, I'm so happy right now that I want to kiss him lol, but I digress. I am a bit stressed out about the car accident because I was still paying on my car and the Kelley Blue Book value is less than what I owe. I was advised by my best friend and my brother to seek an atty's help so that's where I am headed today. I hope that it proves to be helpful if not then I don't know what I am going to do. Everyone keeps saying thank God that you guys are okay cause it could have been worse but sometimes I wonder if me living after yet another bad car accident isn't worse...

Well that's all I have for now, I have a busy day ahead of me: visit to the chiro, pick of a cake for my friend's b-day, lawyer appt, class, and somewhere in there get something to eat. TT4N