So today I did so much and so little. I cleaned around the house cut my son's hair did a pretty good job if i must say so myself, and did my daughter's hair, which is a 1-2 hr task. All in all I feel accomplished, with the household activities. It is my maturity or lack of it that makes me feel like I did nothing at all today. They say and idol mind is the devil's playground but even with my busy day my mind still found room for the devil to "play." My kids' father is someone that makes me feel and act very crazy. Today I was being overprotective. He was nice to them and me too, but I can't shake the feelings from the past. Every time I have let my guard down before as soon as I trust him he does something else to hurt me or them. I don't EVER want to have that happen again. I love myself and my children too much for that.
He asked what school our son goes to, and I just froze. I couldn't tell him because what if I did and once again his family and him act a fool for no reason. I'm sure all of my readers out there disagree with me, but you don't know what I have been through, and it would take a day to tell you. (and that's just the part about him, no one else)
So now reflecting on the 3 hrs they spent with him I am beginning to wonder...is it me that needs to grow up? Or am I just being cautious? Have I crossed the line of protection into obsessive? I dunno but I pray for peace as I sleep tonight because there is so much on my mind, I dare not even talk about my "jealous curiosity"...TT4N
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